asthma saved my life

Asthma saved my life. And my family still saves it every day.

In 2007 I was asked the question “what do you want to achieve in life, Matthew?”

It was a job interview, a throwaway getting to know you question.

“Run the London Marathon!” I replied.

It had probably been on TV recently. I liked the idea of running and it sounded good.

It was never going to happen either. I was, even at 37, vastly overweight. I hadn’t run for nearly 20 years, and I was an ex-smoker who liked a regular (nightly) drink.

Fast forward a few years, and I was still an ex-smoker, still a non-runner, but I got the job, which was fast paced, fun, aggressive, entertaining, and challenging.

I spent a considerable time away from home, filling the void of comfortable slippers and wholesome teas with sandwiches and a couple of bottles of wine (usually after an aperitif of four cans of Stella).

I remember to this day a visit to one of our projects with my sub-contractor and friend. We decided to get a cheeky beer before finishing.

I had the classic middle-aged, sweaty, stressed businessman look – suit, tight white shirt, and grey pallor, throwing beer down my neck. After a while my friend bluntly said, “I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you’re dead in a couple of weeks.”

I was shocked.

Not enough to stop drinking, obviously. But still shocked.

Instead, I upped my step count. Walked further – after all, “every little helps” I repeated to myself.

But still I went through my nightly routine starting with my 4 cans of Stella (other beers are available, and frequently were, as long as they were 5% plus), and finishing with my wine & lemonade (to make the cheap wine palatable) and a forgotten conversation with my beautiful wife.

I still justified this as acceptable, because in my head I was performing well at work, keeping my home life together, being a good husband and Dad.

This was a locked-in routine – rarely more, never less, and a promise before I went to sleep that tomorrow, I wouldn’t do it again. But fast forward 5 years and I still often fell asleep whilst reading a goodnight story to my son.

September 2017 saw a transforming email arrive in my inbox. I had been given the opportunity to run in the London Marathon for Asthma Research UK.

I’d been running during the previous year, training for the York marathon until I broke my ankle. I was secretly delighted that with a little exercise, I could still maintain my routine. Surely I must be healthier now?

But this was different – it was London! I was going to go to the gym, get a personal trainer, eat better, and show myself what I could achieve.

On 21st December I went for my assessment at the gym.

I was swimming and running regularly, and I felt in good shape (once I’d recovered each morning).

I’d even got used to running early dawns, seeing the sun come up and being out in nature. I felt quite smug about myself.

So I wasn’t prepared for the fitness instructor to say, “I don’t want to panic you, but…”

And that was it…. he scared me witless.

I sat in the pub that night with some friends, wondering what to do, not daring to talk about it really. Sipping San Miguel.